That’s right. The lovable and uber-talented Phil Mickelson revealed during a PGA press conference that he’s been suffering from a rare disease called psoriatic arthritis since this year’s US Open. The announcement, predictably enough, comes on the heels of another failed attempt to overtake Tiger Woods for the #1 World Ranking – the 8th time he’s failed to do so. Basically, the man on tour with the most raw talent of any golfer, possibly ever, decided to throw a smoke grenade after another mental breakdown at key a moment in his career. It will be unfortunate when his career is remembered more for the blown opportunities than the incredible shot-making ability. 

Fortunately, Phil is expecting to make a full “recovery,” thanks to modern medicine  and the removal of his balls meat from his diet. And not only that, but by making this announcement,  he’s completely removed any expectations of him winning this thing, so if he actually does, it will be the classic good husband/hot wife/breast cancer/12 kids/BONES/suck it Tiger storybook finish on Sunday. Only this time everyone shares some faggy tofu dish…