I don’t admire PGA Tour players because they can hit ridiculously great shots from time to time, no.  I admire the consistency in their play. Shot after shot, round after round, they never seem to blow up or have complete meltdowns on the course.  I’m sure you’re reading this thinking “Wait, what? I can remember Jean Van de Velde at Carnoustie or Gregg Norman at Augusta having meltdowns!” And you’re right, even the best blow their load on national television from time to time.  But take a second and consider how often these meltdowns occur on Tour, then compare that number to your personal experiences on the links.  That’s my point…

To most amatuer players, this point would seem obvious and considered unworthy news.  However, I’m an asshole that thrives on other’s failures and in this case that other happens to be PGA Tour professional, Parker McLachlin. Parker’s 2010 season has seen its share of highs and lows. Unfortunately for him, we will be primarily focusing on the latter.

Parker has entered ten events so far this year and currently sits in 221st place in FedEx Cup points, one million* points behind your leader, Ernie Els.  It’s safe to say he’s not having the best year.  The highs of his season: making the cut in three of the ten events, already earning roughly $40,000, and having the priveledge of playing golf for a living. While there haven’t exactly been that many highs for him so far, consider how much money you’ve earned so far this year and what your daily schedule consists of. That should put things in perspective for you.

Parker’s season has been plagued with bad play all year. His stats, where he’s ranked at or near the bottom in every category, are vile. There’s no reason to discuss just how poorly his play has been in 2010. Nope. I’m here to bring attention to an achievement that not even I’ve managed to reach over the last 10 years (that I can remember): his ability to post a 7-over, 12, on a single hole. That’s a big ass number. Certainly the largest of the 2010, right? Actually, no. Michael Cambpell (yes, your flukey 2005 US Open Champion) also managed to post a 7-over, 12, on the sixth at Bay Hill earlier this year.  Those two scores are second worst in PGA history only to, none other than, John Daly’s infamous 18, on the sixth at Bay Hill, in 1988. Daly’s needs no explanation; everyone knows his “style.”  Campbell is a fraud living off exemptions who no longer takes the game seriously. Parker, on the other hand, has no excuse. He fired four tee shots into the water at Quail Hollow’s par-5, seventh. FOUR! Make an adjustment one time, cowboy! From the fairway, lying nine, he did manage to hole-out in three shots, which would have been a birdie except for the, you know, FOUR TEE BALLS IN THE WATER!!!

I would have called it quits after two. Can’t score more than double par on a hole, course rules dude.

*no exaggeration

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