OMG! She really put it back in her mouth after that?!!

So apparently Tiger can lose his # 1 World Golf Ranking this week…? Phil’s on his heals and with some sort of win/high finish (ranking system is too complex for my tiny brain) this weekend, he’s almost assured to be the best in the world!  Big fucking deal. Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to see Lefty take the top spot over; I just don’t expect it to last long. In the last thirteen years (or Tiger’s career) four golfers have held the top spot: David Duval (15 weeks), Ernie Els (9 weeks), Vijay Singh (32 weeks), and Tiger Woods (601 weeks).  Now, as previously noted, I’m no mathematical genius but that’s not exactly the definition of parity.

As I’m sure that the trashy natives of Pennsyltucky will flood the beautiful beaches of Maryland for the next 3 months, there will be some of you (jpq) who will be quick to point out that the old dominant Tiger is gone. I’ll be the first to agree with you. Tiger is at a serious fork in the road for the first time in his professional career. I don’t know Tiger and don’t care to know Tiger (unless it involves me playing Augusta or boning Elin), so I won’t sit back and act like I know how his career will be going forward. But considering he’s only 35yrs old and there is a shit-ton of talent currently on Tour, I’d say that Lefty earning the top spot in the World Golf Rankings this week means precisely DICK.  

Lefty turns 40 this year and has always been a streaky player. He’s either dominating the field with ridiculous unfathomable shots, or he’s spraying his driver and missing 3ft par putts. And while there’s traditionally no rhyme or reason to his streaks, one thing remains likely: he won’t play well as a favorite. For some unknown reason Lefty plays much better with lower expectations. How long does someone like that stand hold the #1 spot?  Three or four weeks? Say he takes it after Colonial, holds it after the Memorial, neither he or Tiger plays the St Jude, then completely shits the bed at Pebble, giving it back to Tiger who scrambled to finish T-18th… Sound about right?

More importantly, who gives two fucks and a shit about the World Golf Rankings? They’re fun and all, but doesn’t the golf community rank its players in terms of Majors won? It’s always about the Major Championships. No one cares about some arbitrary rankings that some asshat started 25 years ago. Hell, Jack wasn’t even around (maybe the tail end of his career?) when the World Golf Rankings started, yet he’s still considered the GOAT.

So let’s not blow this weekend’s “Can Mickelson Overtake Tiger” story out of proportion. If Lefty wins, he’s earned whatever temporary title the golf world wants to give him. However, I have a feeling that he would prefer hoisting the trophy on June 20th, adding another Major to his resume and climbing the only ranking that counts.

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