If there is a God, there won't be another Brian Gay win this weekend...BO-RING!

Before we get to the picks, lets take a quick look at the standings, shall we?

Standings:

  1. His Holiness 096: 84
  2. Lefty: 198
  3. AC: 224 + 25 = 249
  4. The guy who keeps taking shitty golfers: 225
  5. Schneider:  233

As a Cleveland Indians semi-fan, I can appreciate what’s happening between 3-5 here.  It’s like the annual race between the Indians, White Sox and Royals to see who can be the worst team in a division full of awful teams.  AC is like the White Sox in that he makes his picks based on whether or not a player looks like he’s taking a dump when he swings, Tips is like the Indians in that every pick he makes turns to rusted iron and Schneider?  Well, he’s obviously the Royals because he’s just straight terrible but gets a Greinke-from-2009 start every now and then like last week’s pick of Tiger.

Anyways…this has quickly devolved into a one man race.  That man?  Me.  And not to leave out Lefty but Lefty’s obviously the Tigers…not because of any resemblance or anything, but because he smells like industrial waste, much like the entire state of Michigan.

So, anyways, who am I picking?:

I’m taking Lee Westwood and considering this my risky pick.  Sure, it might not sound risky, but I couldn’t find ANY history of Westwood playing this event and am basing this pick solely on the idea that one of the world’s best iron players SHOULD be able to dominate a run of the mill TPC course.  It’s also risky because Westwood is chokey…but four top 10’s in seven US events bodes well for everyone’s least favorite bridesmaid, so hopefully he pulls his huge head out of his gigantic ass and takes some of my points with him when he leaves with a win on Sunday.

And for the record, I don’t like this pick one bit.  I was THISCLOSE to taking David Toms, but I don’t take golfers shorter than my sister unless they’re named Sergio Garcia.

AC:

Bryce Wade Molder FTW. Last year Molder finished tied for second with David Toms. And to go on top of that he’s got 7 top 25’s and 5 top 10’s so far on the year and is currently sitting 43rd in the FedEx Cup points list. It’s hard to hate on Molder’s 2010 stats. He’s not long, but he’s accurate, good with the putter, and he’s in the top 15 in scoring. Mark it dude. I’m making a run at this thing.

UPDATE: With poor research comes a stiff penalty.  25 points added onto the scores in addition to a JEEV’ing.

A little bit Tipsy when he makes these picks:

Jinx Nick Watney and end his streak of consecutive cuts made… check. He let me hang on to a “Oprah staying skinny” shred of hope until Sunday’s round where he posted a quad and a triple. Wow. So I’m learning my lesson and going with a favorite this week. Don’t let me down Rory McIlroy. I’m serious, son; Daddy needs this.

Lefty:

Putting my personal dislike of this player aside, I’m taking floppy hat wearing, slow playing, pasty ass Ben Crane.  He’s frustrating as hell to watch, but two top fives and a top ten in his last three starts, plus a top 15 at this event last year make him a no brainer.  Also, he plays Titleist shit, so that’s another plus.  I honestly can’t believe I’ve been burned twice on missed cuts by Ernie Els and Phil Mickelson.  And the one win I got was from Adam Scott.  Crazy year.

Schneider:

After much deliberation (20 seconds), I finally have a winner. He may not actually WIN this event (last win: 2006) but he will help pull me out of the basement. It was a close race between Allenby, Villegas, and inconsistent Paddy but the dart landed on David Toms this week. He doesn’t lead in any stat category except the money list at this event ($3.5 mil). Toms has a Top 10 finish 4 of the last 5 times here with a pair of runner-ups and a 3rd. He’s not exactly setting the world on fire this year with 8 of 12 cuts made and 0 Top 10’s but he likes Memphis and they pay him well. Spencer, the bullseye is on your forehead…or back…I’m not a very good shot but you’d better watch your step.

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