I don’t care that the US Open was fantastic for three days or that the course was fantastic and the competition fierce.  I don’t care that I’m going to be extremely petty and biased in the following paragraphs and I CERTAINLY don’t care if any Graeme McDowell fans get upset with me but I thought the final round of the Open sucked royal ass with a capital ROYAL ASS.

Here comes the bias train…I don’t think that McDowell, by simply parring himself around, is a worthy champion.  I just don’t.  Much like Zach Johnson’s Masters win, I don’t find boring course strategy to be an appealing form of entertainment, and since this isn’t about pure golf, I feel that’s a valid complaint.  What was so remarkable about McDowell’s win yesterday?  Why should I care that a guy who simply outlasted the field won?  I didn’t see any signature shots or balls out play, or really, much of anything that would indicate that McDowell was the best golfer this weekend.

Yes, the US Open is the ultimate survival test, and that’s exactly what McDowell did, but when I watched players be aggressive and actually TRY to score in order to win, it was great.  When I watched McDowell, I kept waiting for him to blow it, but then quickly realized that he wouldn’t because he was playing no-balls golf and wouldn’t even consider putting himself in position to make a mistake.  Again, I’m not upset at McDowell for winning, I’m more upset that one of the five or so guys on the leaderboard who actually wanted to win this thing ended up on the outside looking in.

This is simply a complaint about the style of play McDowell employed to get his first major, not an indictment on his game (he’s a pretty good player) or him as a person, I just didn’t feel any excitement from watching a guy scratch out pars while players were going for broke all around him.  Is this petty?  No doubt.  Is this borderline racist against European golfers?  You betcha.  But was I entertained?  Not in the slightest.

Congrats to McDowell who did DESERVE to win, despite my prattling above, but really, he was the victor of circumstance, not the victor of merit.  Bravo, but lets not compare this to recent US Open victors like Angel Cabrera, who fired at every pin at Oakmont, or Lucas Glover, who was remarkable with his iron game at Bethpage Black, because it doesn’t match up well.  Scratching out pars amid a trainwreck is admirable, but it’s not champion level shit, and when the only difference between McDowell’s win was a few bumpy putts over the course of a weekend, well…whatever.  That’s a nice trophy, but I’ve already forgotten about this tournament like I’ve forgotten about the Honda Classic.

Dustin Johnson: US Open nerves are not to be trifled with.

A sad, sad display from one of my favorite players on tour.  I have rarely been this saddened by a golfer’s failure in the brightest of spotlights, but realize that Tom Watson and Jack Nicklaus had their “first major embarssments” of their own to contend with, and that with Johnson’s prodigious length and decent short game, he’ll make some noise again.  I’m not saying a major is in his future, but I do actually enjoy watching him play aggressively instead of putt around like some jaded pro playing the Oksfjord Invitational who wears a Mr. Rogers cardigan around with painters cap.

Just sayin’…

Tiger Woods: Top 5?  Nice.  Methinks I know where I’m leaning with my British Open pick.

Phil Mickelson: Oh Phil…you’re such a fucking retard sometimes.  Another US Open, another close call for Lefty…this one’s gotta hurt.

Honestly, I would expound more, but I really have a bad taste in my mouth from Sunday’s finale.  I can’t express how dismayed I am at OUR nation’s champion and the sooner we block this from any memory, the better.  Pebble is a fantastic venue for a US Open, but at the same time, the only difference between having a real champion and some C-list player is the course’s setup.  There were absolutely no scoring opportunities on Sunday thanks to absurd pin positions and greens that were just awful (yes, I agree with Tiger and don’t think he should be criticized for speaking the truth) and the best players in the world weren’t able to make up any ground creating an anticlimactic ending that was like watching paint dry.

Mike Davis did a great job on the first three days of the tournament, but it’s a shame that a real champion couldn’t emerge thanks to a poor setup.  Kudos to McDowell, but I honestly believe if the pins were just a BIT more accessible,  he would’ve been lapped by one of the better players waiting in the wings.  I didn’t enjoy Sunday’s round.  I truly didn’t, and I think that golf fans everywhere were robbed of an opportunity to see a fantastic finish.

I’m re-evaluating my stance on Pebble as an elite US Open venue after this weekend.  It makes for great scenery and some decent golf, but there’s no reason those greens should determine OUR nation’s champion if they’re going to go that route with pin placements.  It’s not that pars aren’t fun or that it’s not great watching the pros struggle, but when you see shit like 8% of the field hit a GIR at the 17th green or see the entire field miss the same putt at 16 right, well, what good is that?  Isn’t the purpose of these tournaments to provide entertainment?  Shouldn’t we be waiting with baited breath during every putt like we did at Oakmont, Torrey Pines and Bethpage Black, just to name the most recent examples?

I might be overreacting, I might be reaching, hell, I might even be considered fucking insane, but I just don’t think that the course did the field the justice they deserve, and now we’re left with Graeme Mc-fucking-Dowell as a US Open champion.

Pardon me, but “yawn.”