Yes, Dustin Johnson handled his post interview with class.  I’m not classy, so I’ll take it from here…


How the fuck could you make such a total bullshit ruling at such a crucial juncture?  How the fuck can you look yourselves in the mirror and think that you made the right fucking call?  Are you fucking serious?  Did I gain an advantage?  No.

If that piece of dirt is a fucking bunker, then why the hell were people standing in it?  Why the fuck would you let that shit happen?  Fuck the rules of golf…I, Dustin Johnson, did not fucking cheat.

I’m going to hire a private detective to follow you around, Mark Wilson.  Every little thing in life you fuck up, I’m going to make sure is punished to the utmost.  If you don’t stop at a fucking stop sign for a full second, I’m gonna make sure you get a ticket.  If you got 5 MPH above the speed limit, I’m turning you in.  If your lawn is a half fucking inch above what it should be, I’m calling the authorities.

Because that’s what you deserve you pile of shit.  Oh, and thanks for having a rules official nearby.  Ooops.

Fuck you, PGA.  Fuck you indeed.

Now, excuse me, I have a bunker to rake.