Maybe it’s the long, cold winter that never seems to end, or maybe it’s just fate, but we’re (only me?)  eager to fire things up here again at Tuna Golf. Not that we’ve ever had a real formal, organized site here, but it’s probably going to be even more erratic around here during our comeback attempt. Whatevs… you know how we roll. Leave your complaints in the comment section.

Fortunately for me, I had the day off today. It was much more productive than I expected it to be when I woke up hungover as balls at 8:30 this morning. Not to dwell on my drinking problems, but I advise anyone to stay the fuck away from a drink named the “polar bear fight”. I was conned into taking not one, but two last night and it did not end well. Not like I ever considered an Irish car bomb, followed by a Jager bomb, followed by a tequila shot to ever end well… Call me a pussy, but that shit is harsh.

Anywho, I spent my day off cleaning and watching golf; two things that couldn’t be further away from each other on the list of shit I want to do. Instead of a normal lame Friday round of a random tournament, I was fortunate to catch the third round of the Accenture Match Play Championship. Here’s a few observations from my four-hour viewing session:

Martin Kaymer Vs Hunter Mahan: Kaymer is the best player in the world right now. He’s consistent, smooth, confident and doesn’t get flustered. There aren’t a lot of unnecessary movements in his swing. I watched him hit back-to-back shots OB, then birdie four of his next five holes. Unreal. He may not win this thing, but he’s the #1 player in the world, regardless. Mahan, on the other hand, played fairly well. He made a couple huge putts and played a solid front 9, but in the end, Blitzkrieg was just too much. Also, his long hair is fucking gayer than gay. I don’t care if he likes dudes, but dudes who like dudes don’t like dudes who like dudes with hair like that.

Ben Crane Vs Miguel Jimenez: Thanks for coming out Ben. Jimenez didn’t miss a putt that all day. I think I saw him drain putts from the rough, fringe, fairway and bunker. Crane never stood a chance. And to be honest, I’d have taken the same approach if I was Miguel; no one wants to play a 6 hour round of golf with Ben “slowly” Crane.

Bubba Watson Vs Geoff Ogilvy: Bubba continued his tear today, making quick work of the match play guru, Geoff Ogilvy. Bubba is just firing on all cylinders right now. Ogilvy didn’t really help his cause on the back 9. He chipped poorly and didn’t make putts when the counted. You have to be on your game to beat Bubba, he’s not going to beat himself. Though, I have no idea why he went all Ricky Henderson in the post-match interview and referred to himself in 3rd person like six times. Have I been living under a rock? Is this normal behavior for him?

Ricky Fowler Vs Matt Kuchar: Fowler didn’t have it today. He should have known better than to wear Chargers’ colors this far into the tournament. They would have worked in the first two rounds, but they pretty much guarantee a choke job in the round of 16 and in. Kuchar played OK… Fowler beat himself more than anything else. For some reason, nothing about this match stands out to me, so that’s all you get.

Quick hits from the rest:

Congrats to JB Holmes. This year’s fill-in has won himself a chance to get Bubba’d tomorrow morning. This matchup with consist of a lot of diver-wedge par 4’s.

Ryan Moore beat Nick Watney, who had the most awkward post-round interview I’ve ever seen after beating AK on day one. Moore must have made the right move dumping Scratch Golf in the offseason because he’s having more success this week than he did all last year. However, who the fuck wears a tie while playing golf? Is this the 1914 British Open? I think Moore may be a hipster, which makes me hate him.

Luke Donald beat up on some weak Euro bottom-feeder, something the Euro “stars” have become very good at doing. Let’s see how he does against an American bottom-feeder tomorrow.

Y.E. Yang took a lead on an uncomfortable Greame McDowell and never looked back. I like Y.E.’s game. The dude has a well-rounded game and never seems flustered. From his post-round interview, he HATES playing in poor weather, which, according to him, is why he played so poorly last week. Imagine that… what? They changed the tourney schedule because of forecasted weather Saturday and Sunday? Sucks for you, Yang.

I’m leaning towards a Kaymer Vs Kuchar final but wouldn’t be surprised if Yang beat Kuchar, assuming the weather this weekend suits his game.

Advertisements