Fantasy Foursome


Wow does this field suck.  I don’t mean to be a dick, but do you know how I know a field sucks?  When Kevin Streelman is leading.  Oh, and yes this thing is running late because I and my fellow TG authors are idiots.  See, we usually exchange a bunch of emails with our picks in there, and, like every other week, we had em all ready to go only…yea, nobody stepped up and wrote the post.

It happens.  It’s the fuckin’ Wyndham.  Fuck it…there’s more important shit to worry about like the Ryder Cup and making sure the PGA never returns to Whistling Straits again to write up a picks post for a tournament where the highest ranked player is a busted up Anthony Kim (and the only other top 30 player is the eminently boring Carl Pettersson).  But better late then never, right?

Anyways…I have a big ass lead thanks to my man Bubba.  Sure, Lefty is still hanging around, but lets face it, Southerners usually give up and quit, so it’s only a matter of time until he gives up and the lead is safely in this capable, tenacious Ohesian’s hands for good.  Lets get to the standings and then to the picks.

  1. Wire-to-wire096 – 259
  2. Lefty – 479
  3. AC – 629
  4. Schneider – 647
  5. Tips – 678
  6. JayV – 731
  7. no balatas – 813

(more…)

A Cuban Cohiba? Why yes, I'll take one of those for my victory cigar!

Conichiwa golf fans, time for everyone’s favorite segment, the picks.

This week, we’re adding our latest correspondent, JayV to the running, and while it might seem dickish to give him last place points so late in the game, if anyone can conjure up the minor miracle it’ll take to unseat yours truly, it’s Jay.

And while we’re welcoming Jay, I’d also like to point out the incredible feat achieved by our very own Schneider.  This week, the impossible was proven possible as Mr. Schneider managed to miss a cut in an event without a cut.  Shit like that doesn’t happen everyday, my pretties, and honestly, my belief in the supernatural has been reinforced.  It’s not everyday that you get to witness the hand of God in action, so savor the flavor.

Anyways…here are the current standings.

  1. Savant096 – 257
  2. Lefty – 476
  3. AC – 529
  4. Schneider – 629
  5. Tips – 650
  6. Old man penna – 713
  7. JayV – 713

Now onto the picks… (more…)

This week we’re at Firestone Country Club in Akron, Ohio for the WGC-Bridgestone Invitational.  It’s a safe bet that Akron’s once favorite son won’t be bringing his talents back home to take in the action this weekend.  If you keep your eyes peeled, you may spy a Tuna Golf contributor or two roaming the property, though.  Standings and picks after the jump. (more…)

Well, this is probably going to get posted by the time the coverage ends today, but whatever…we don’t operate on any stupid “European Time.”  There’s only one real time zone…AMERICAN TIME, ya hurd?

Anyways, there hasn’t been a lot of movement in the leaderboard here at the Tuna for awhile, probably due to my indelible brilliance and the rest of these fuck’s inability to pick anyone worth a shit.  We’ll see if adjusting the scoring helps (wins = -25 points now), but seeing as I’m the only one of these slackjawed yokels who doesn’t have their head firmly implanted in their tuckus, well…

  1. NASA’s think tank – 135
  2. lefty – 290
  3. AC – 389
  4. Schneider – 418
  5. toneypenna – 486
  6. BWAHAHAHAHHAHA – 550

Lets get to the picks, shall we?

(more…)

It’s time once again for everybody’s favorite weekly post, the Fantasy Foursome. This week, we’re in Silvis, Illinois for the John Deere Classic. First, the standings:

1. spencer – 129
2. lefty – 284
3. AC – 374
4. schneider – 411
5. tips – 450
6. toneypenna – 511

Our excellent expertise after the jump. (more…)

Tuna Golf doesn't give a shit about your win Bubba, so we took the week off.

First things first. On behalf of Tuna Golf, I apologize for our week-long hiatus. Unfortunately, none of us get paid to write for this site (like our material is worth anything to begin with…) so we’re forced to work with the rest of you high handicap lemmings in the real world.  And, like you, sometimes our jobs are extra sucky and demanding. It’s terrible, I know.  However, at least we here at Tuna Golf can still break 90, you hacks!

So what’s our first post coming off our break? A Fantasy Foursome, of course, because we’re selfish and you need to have our spencer’s expert advice. That’s right. This contest remains a blowout after last week and unless the Gods decide to unleash an F5 of mercy on the rest of us, things are unlikely to change. Current standings are (looks away):

  1. spencer – 83
  2.  lefty – 273
  3. AC – 365
  4.  schneider – 395
  5.  tips – 404
  6.  jpq – 478

On with this week’s picks: (more…)

A good week as far picks go (aside from Nick Watney) but the problem is, I still command a, um, commanding lead over the rest of these slackjawed yokels.  Unfortunately, the warm blanket that is the ease of picking majors is over and the crapshoot begins all over again.  I fully expect this commanding lead for the lead commander to get even commanderinger over the next few weeks, so lets just get to it, shall we?

First the standings…

  1. Brilliance personified – 78
  2. Lefty – 226
  3. Schneider – 295
  4. Tips – 330
  5. AC – 352
  6. toneypenna – 378

Yes, that’s right…the young buck has a 300 point lead on that old fuck.

/drops mic

Anyways…onto the picks for this week in Hartford.

AC:

Rickie Fowler is the pick this week. Is there a hotter player on TOUR right now? He’s got five top 10’s so far on the year and is currently sitting 12th in the FedEx Cup Point race. When he wins this week, he’ll jump to 3rd in the standings. Not bad for a 21 year old in his second year out of Oklahoma State (the fake OSU). Fowler didn’t play in the US Open so he doesn’t have to deal with the post tournament depression/let down and this course just sets up so well for him. TPC River Highlands is not particularly long at just over 6800 yards; so break out the Tuna Golf and go for birdie. Oh and please go for the green at #15. Its a 296 yard par 4. So get ready to see the Cowboy Orange on Sunday walking up the 18th green with his first professional victory in the bag.

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