Tuna Counterpoint


Just to ease some of the negative attention recently drawn to the American Ryder Cup team, we’ll take short trip across pond to take a look an injunction between Euro Ryder Cup captain, Colin Montgomerie, and his ex-girlfriend. Apparently, Monty’s ol’ flame and he were into some pretty freaky shit behind the closed doors.  Normally, this wouldn’t be an issue. However, unfortunately for Monty, his girlfriend minored in photography and there’s evidence of said freaky shit looming in her possession. So he’s fucked, right? Wrong. Unlike in America, where we take pleasure in other people’s personal misery and demand they forfeit all privacy rights, British courts protect their own:

The injunction, dated July 8, bars Tagg from revealing “the private details of a personal, intimate and sexual relationship” between the two. Specifically, the order prevents the publication of information “concerning acts of a sexual nature” or “any such information recorded in the form of a photograph or still image or moving images.” The injunction also bans Tagg from revealing whether such photographs or images even exist. Information about the relationship contained in e-mails, letters, text messages or voice mails is also covered in the order.

Wow… guys 1, crazy ex-girlfriends 0.  Regardless of how you feel about Monty, in today’s media-crazed society, that’s a ray of light peaking through the clouds.

Somewhere Tiger Woods is texting Monty for his lawyer’s contact information.


We’ve been too nice (by nice I mean, haven’t written anything at all) so I’m going to muck this place up a bit.  Everyone has their favorites and least favorites in any avenue of sport, and golf is no different.  There are some people who love Davis Love III.  I am one of them, but I know for a fact that AC over there (/points over there) hates DLIII for various reasons that only he can explain.  So today, I thought it’d be a nice gesture to go over some of the golfers I personally don’t like (not including Stuart Appleby, who I covered earlier this week).

Why?  Why not?   (more…)

Here’s one thing I’ve never understood.  Why, in advance of the British Open, which is always held on a seaside links, is the warmup event the Scottish Open at the very American-y Loch Lomond?  Does this make a lick of sense?  HELL NO.  So then why, before one of the biggest, most historic tournaments on the schedule, is Loch Lomond still the spot?

And this isn’t making fun of Loch Lomond the course, because from what I hear, it’s pretty sweet.  And yea, a ton of Euro pros have homes there and shit, but that doesn’t mean that the last point of entry before the Open should be a test of golf completely different than what the golfers are going to face the following week, ya hurd?  Do you prepare for the SAT’s by taking a physical fitness test?  Hell naw.

Correct me if I’m wrong but there are more than one seaside links in Scotland, amirite?  Now, this might sound like a crazy fucking idea, but you know, it might just be crazy enough to work…WHY NOT HOLD A TOURNAMENT AT ONE OF THE OTHER THIRTY FUCKING THOUSAND SEASIDE LINKS IN FUCKING SCOTLAND THE WEEK BEFORE THE OPEN?!?!?!?!  Jesus tapdancing Christ, am I taking crazy pills here? (more…)

My biggest criticism of Tiger’s game during the Haney era was twofold…one was the stupidly, over-flat swing plane and the other, which kinda ties in, being the short, crooked drives.  In the Haney era, the best two ballstriking performances were at the 2006 Open in Liverpool and the 2007 PGA at Southern Hills.  What marked both of these performances as something better than the norm?  The abandonment of that flat swing plane allowing Tiger to truly unleash and be the player he was when he was at his most dominant…only with a more mature game.

Well, despite this season’s finishes, I think it’s safe to say that getting that Haney stink off of him has freed Tiger up to be the golfer he was, and yesterday proved that Tiger still has the ability to keep up with the big boys when it comes to driving the ball.

Despite his 73, Tiger’s ballstriking was fantastic and it was his normally spectacular short game that failed him.  Paired with bomber Dustin Johnson and fellow big hitter Davis Love III, Tiger was keeping in step with the both of them the entire round, showing incredible distance paired with accuracy that had belied him in under Haney’s direction.  The swing was more upright, the hips cleared, no more blocking shots to the right and lo and behold, power and accuracy.

Which brings us to Haney’s Golf Digest interview…


GOTCHA! For those eleventy of you who closely follow the goings on here at TunaGolf, you may know that I am SLIGHLY older than your average hipster here at the center of the golfing blogosphere. . These yungins here like to keep me around, as I am always available to be mocked about being old and out of touch. Little do they know that their lame “get off my lawn” taunts only deepen my resolve to bring serious game to this site, and show that because I’m older, it also means I’m smarter and better (insert smiley little happy face).

One of the favorite claims of the “Who’s Now!” generation is that Tiger Woods is the greatest golfer in the history of evah, much like how everything created since 1995 is automatically better than anything ever seen by man.  Even though golf has been played for 1,000 years, we suddenly have decided that the 34 year old phenom with bad hair and huge choppers playing now is the best ever, even if he has roughly 10-15 years left in his career (depending on knee surgeries and infidelity dramas). Because I am a bitter middle aged man, jealous of people completely inadequate when compared to me in (almost) every way, it REALLY bothers me how the athletes and entertainers of today make exponentially more than their counterparts of yesteryear. Somehow, Oscar Robertson earned $22,500 his rookie year in 1960, and retired in 1973 making $200,00. JaMarcus Russell managed to eat his way out of Oakland while at the same time causing mink to become an endangered species, yet earned $34 million in three seasons of epic failure with the Raiders.

Earlier, Spencer and I got into our weekly argument over which generation of players are better (guess who took what side), the name Notah Begay was brought up in conversation. For whatever reason, I decided to look up this inebriated Native American’s career, and, lo and behold, I saw that HE EARNED MORE FUCKING MONEY ON THE PGA TOUR THAN JACK W. FUCKING NICKLAUS!!  While it is obvious that inflation, television agreements, and the “Tiger Effect” have led to an astronomical escalation of PGA Tour purses, it has always bothered me that, in every sport, let alone golf, awful to mediocre athletes make so much more money than the greatest athletes from another era. They led the way, dealt with the racism, lack of interest and exposure, etc, and made NOTHING, while these unappreciating, pampered athletes of today come in like they are owed this fortune. (more…)

I’m conflicted because as much respect as I have for Arnold Palmer, Gary Player and Jack Nicklaus (and believe me, I have a TON of respect for them) they need to understand that games evolve both on the course and in the realm of technology, and to hold today’s golfers to a standard that these fine gentlemen do in respect to their era is foolish and shortsighted, almost as foolish and shortsighted as toneypenna, but we’ll cross that bridge in the comments section.

But I’m just curious…these are incredibly smart, savvy, well read individuals who know the game of golf better than anyone.  These guys know that sports evolve and that things change as time goes on, I mean, hell, these three were catalysts for such expansive growth in golf that it’s really hard to understand where they’re coming from.  Why did Arnie complain about balls being stopped from the rough?  Why is Gary Player accusing pros of using performance enhancing drugs?  Why is Jack Nicklaus going through great pains to discredit today’s players through complaints about technology and strategy?

This is a different era of golf and it should be treated as such. (more…)

OMG! She really put it back in her mouth after that?!!

So apparently Tiger can lose his # 1 World Golf Ranking this week…? Phil’s on his heals and with some sort of win/high finish (ranking system is too complex for my tiny brain) this weekend, he’s almost assured to be the best in the world!  Big fucking deal. Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to see Lefty take the top spot over; I just don’t expect it to last long. In the last thirteen years (or Tiger’s career) four golfers have held the top spot: David Duval (15 weeks), Ernie Els (9 weeks), Vijay Singh (32 weeks), and Tiger Woods (601 weeks).  Now, as previously noted, I’m no mathematical genius but that’s not exactly the definition of parity. (more…)

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