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Cheapest piece of clothing I own

Cheapest piece of clothing I own

Yessir, the band is back together. Hell, we even picked up a new member. All the hype, drama, and controversy surrounding the 2013 Masters tournament was too much to keep us away. But we’ll get to all that later. All you need to know is that none of us played Augusta this past weekend, which means we’re kicking off our 2014 Masters campaign!

A lot happened this weekend at Augusta, but let me first and foremost congratulate Adam Scott. Scott has been one hell of a Tour player for a long time now and the only reason it’s taken him this long to win his first big one is that dreaded flatstick. So it’s only fitting that he won this tournament with clutch putting. His always impressive ball-striking kept him in the mix, but it was his putting that earned him the prestigious green jacket. (more…)

It looks like after melting down in the final round of The Masters, Rory 22 year old Rory McIlroy apparently tweeted the above picture. If you can’t tell or are just simple, he’s housing a bottle of Jagermeister. The picture has since been removed. C’mon Rory. Act your age bro.

So what’s happened today?

David Toms has taken over the lead at -10. At the moment Nick Watney, who had the lead at the start of the day, is one stroke back. As I’m typing this, Bubba Watson just hit a drive 341 yards and Sergio Garcia toyed with danger on 17. But don’t worry, 17 got the better of Paul Goydos (Sergio smiled /2008’d). Speaking of Sergio, will his putter be his friend or his enemy?

David Duval opens with a -2/70 and follows it up with a +4/76; he missed the cut.

Defending champion, Tim Clark withdrew after 10 holes with an apparent elbow injury.

Geoff Ovilvy also withdrew with a left shoulder injury after 9 holes.

Rickie Fowler started the day at +5 with a 77, managed to shoot -4/68 while fighting the flu. But his hat stayed on forward. Let’s not get sand in our vagina’s.

Rory Sabbatini is the worst at basically everything.

Phil Mickelson eagled 16. He is currently sitting at -2 after back to back rounds of -1/71. Today Phil was disappointed with inconsistency today. He shot a 31 on the front and the big 4-0 on the back. Speaking of a disappointed Phil, he’s had some things to say as of late. When asked about his performance in the first round, on the 13th hole, Phil had this to say:

“I don’t know what to say. I don’t know if it’s the set-up or the design, but I just don’t agree with that, I thought the question was would it stay up on top and be by the hole or was it going to roll down in the low area? I didn’t know it could possibly go in the water. I think when I design golf courses, I try not to screw the player like that. I try to keep it a little bit fair. I don’t know what I could have done differently. I’m disappointed with myself and my focus throughout the round today. I can do better than that. There were some low scores out there this afternoon today, and I felt like I should have been one of them. But I’ll get out here tomorrow morning and see if I can put it together.

Matteo Manassero, the 18 year old Italian is the youngest player ever to make the cut. He had rounds of E/72 and -2/70.

Hunter Mahan, I hate you too. But not as much as Rory Sabbatini. I’m a beard kind of guy, but shave that shit bro. You look like you molest collies.

I can’t find video of this yet, but Michael Bradley has apparently thrown his driver in the water. Some fans dove in after it, and some how he is using it again.

KellyTilghmanGC: Fan climbs down lake wall to rescue Michael Bradley’s driver. If Bradley birdies & makes cut on number, he should slip fan some $

So, I really don’t want to work today. Surprised? Shouldn’t be. I’m going to try to update this bitch as often as I can. I’ll throw up some tweets and links to what’s going on in the first round of THE Players. Enjoy.
-The Beard is currently in the lead with a -7/65 (PGA Tour)
JasonSobelGC: Vijay Singh shoots front-nine 42, just like Tiger Woods. Misery may love company, but that doesn’t mean they’ll commiserate together.
JasonSobelGC: He was hurting out there, but Tiger Woods didn’t blame injuries for poor short game. “Those were just bad pitch shots. Those were awful.”
-Tiger just told the media: “Knee acted up … Achilles … calf cramped up … whole chain reaction … gimmie a few days to see what the docs say. I’m having a hard time walking.”
KellyTilghmanGC: Tiger Woods says he’s surprised he had to WD because he felt good coming into week. Said it got progressively worse thru rd.
KellyTilghmanGC: Tiger Woods WD’s after 9 holes. No surprise at all. Playing hurt on a difficult golf course is an instant recipe for withdrawal.

JasonSobelGC: Tiger Woods is now 5-over for the day. The good news? He made it through the seventh hole without withdrawing this time.

JasonSobelGC: Colleague just asked if Tiger Woods has been visibly limping. Answer: “He hasn’t NOT been visibly limping.” No doubt he’s in pain right now.
JasonSobelGC: Tiger Woods duffs his chip from behind the ninth green. At this point, will just be easier to tweet when he doesn’t actually chunk a chip.
Here are some additional links from Sawgrass:

If you cared to watch live, then click here.

Slideshow on the range (Titleist)

Tiger Woods has committed to THE Players Championship at TPC Sawgrass, which starts Thursday May 12. I did not expect to see Mr. Woods until the US Open at the earliest, but the big purse must have expedited his recovery process. Either that or his water treatment and relaxation are working. Or maybe he’s just nailing some more sluts? Personally, I don’t care the reason and neither should you.

Tiger injured a ligament and Achilles tendon in his left knee. The same knee that has been operated on four times, most recently after the 2008 US Open at Torrey Pines. This should serve as a nice warm up for the US Open; which, as you know, I have predicted a TW victory. I’m going to gloat so bad when he wins.

(Link via: Wei Under Par)

(more…)

Tiger Jam is back and happened this past weekend in Las Vegas. Rumors are circulating that one Eldrick Woods was living it up again in Vegas, but unfortunately there are no juicy details so spread at this time. The only thing we’re hearing is that Tiger apparently was down as much as $25ok at Mandalay Bay. That rhymed, “25ok at Mandalay Bay”. Good stuff.

Tiger Jam featured performances by John Mayer and Keith Urban. Tiger didn’t do the whole “red carpet” thing. Just a few photos and it was on with the show. Apparently Tiger was a little standoffish and seemed uncomfortable. His entire introduction/welcome speech was about 30 seconds. He was in and out and on and back to banging broads.

I do feel it is necessary to include the fact that Tiger was seen in a walking boot and noticeably limping. And if you have forgotten, I have made the proclamation that Tiger will win the US Open. (more…)

Tiger Woods has withdrawn from the Wells Fargo Championship at Quail Hollow. The injury is a ligament sprain in his left knee and a mild strain of his Achilles tendon in the same leg. This is the famous left leg that Tiger has had operated on four times previously, most recently after the 2008 US Open at Torry Pines.

In a statement released on his website:

Woods suffered a Grade 1 mild medial collateral ligament sprain to his left knee and a mild strain to his left Achilles tendon… Woods was able to continue playing at Augusta and then later decided to seek a medical evaluation.

(more…)

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