The golf tournament of all golf tournaments, The Masters. It’s finally here!

Day 1 made me incredibly depressed. Alvaro Quiros, who is my age and Rory McIlroy, who is twenty fucking one, are in the lead. Sigh. Anyway on to the action…

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I’m not about to disparage a guy who just won a major by seven strokes.  Period.  Louis Oosthuizen was impressive as fuck and there are no qualifiers to that statement.

That said, I’m not about to wax poetic about a guy who built his lead thanks to two favorable weather draws that simply outlasted a field that seemed wholly content to cash their overly large runner up checks and get to tell people they’re good because they finished top 5 in a major.  There’s no way around it, yesterday’s golf coverage was boring, just because there wasn’t anyone catching Oosthuizen.  So, instead of doing some big long recap, we’ll just do some winner/loser type thing, k?

Winners:

Oosthuizen: Of course.  You don’t win a major by 7 strokes unless you’re a badass and the Euro Tour stalwart might just be that badass.  Or he could be a total fluke.  Hell, I thought Zach Johnson was a fluke after he won the Masters, but I’ve been proven quite wrong by that so maybe Shrek is the Euro Tour’s new ZJ.

Henrik Stenson: Made a charge and wasn’t a douchebag about it, unlike a certain someone who’s name rhymes with Maul Macey.

Rory McIlroy and Rickie Fowler: McIlroy finished tied for 3rd while Fowler was a few shots off his pace finishing tied for 14th with a logjam of extremely talented players.  Of course, these finishes aren’t notable in and of themselves, but when you consider that Rory shot a 2nd round 80 to best Fowler’s opening round 79 well, that’s some gumption and good shootin’ to get back to where they finished.  Good show, young’ns. (more…)