Cheapest piece of clothing I own

Cheapest piece of clothing I own

Yessir, the band is back together. Hell, we even picked up a new member. All the hype, drama, and controversy surrounding the 2013 Masters tournament was too much to keep us away. But we’ll get to all that later. All you need to know is that none of us played Augusta this past weekend, which means we’re kicking off our 2014 Masters campaign!

A lot happened this weekend at Augusta, but let me first and foremost congratulate Adam Scott. Scott has been one hell of a Tour player for a long time now and the only reason it’s taken him this long to win his first big one is that dreaded flatstick. So it’s only fitting that he won this tournament with clutch putting. His always impressive ball-striking kept him in the mix, but it was his putting that earned him the prestigious green jacket. (more…)

So what’s happened today?

David Toms has taken over the lead at -10. At the moment Nick Watney, who had the lead at the start of the day, is one stroke back. As I’m typing this, Bubba Watson just hit a drive 341 yards and Sergio Garcia toyed with danger on 17. But don’t worry, 17 got the better of Paul Goydos (Sergio smiled /2008’d). Speaking of Sergio, will his putter be his friend or his enemy?

David Duval opens with a -2/70 and follows it up with a +4/76; he missed the cut.

Defending champion, Tim Clark withdrew after 10 holes with an apparent elbow injury.

Geoff Ovilvy also withdrew with a left shoulder injury after 9 holes.

Rickie Fowler started the day at +5 with a 77, managed to shoot -4/68 while fighting the flu. But his hat stayed on forward. Let’s not get sand in our vagina’s.

Rory Sabbatini is the worst at basically everything.

Phil Mickelson eagled 16. He is currently sitting at -2 after back to back rounds of -1/71. Today Phil was disappointed with inconsistency today. He shot a 31 on the front and the big 4-0 on the back. Speaking of a disappointed Phil, he’s had some things to say as of late. When asked about his performance in the first round, on the 13th hole, Phil had this to say:

“I don’t know what to say. I don’t know if it’s the set-up or the design, but I just don’t agree with that, I thought the question was would it stay up on top and be by the hole or was it going to roll down in the low area? I didn’t know it could possibly go in the water. I think when I design golf courses, I try not to screw the player like that. I try to keep it a little bit fair. I don’t know what I could have done differently. I’m disappointed with myself and my focus throughout the round today. I can do better than that. There were some low scores out there this afternoon today, and I felt like I should have been one of them. But I’ll get out here tomorrow morning and see if I can put it together.

Matteo Manassero, the 18 year old Italian is the youngest player ever to make the cut. He had rounds of E/72 and -2/70.

Hunter Mahan, I hate you too. But not as much as Rory Sabbatini. I’m a beard kind of guy, but shave that shit bro. You look like you molest collies.

I can’t find video of this yet, but Michael Bradley has apparently thrown his driver in the water. Some fans dove in after it, and some how he is using it again.

KellyTilghmanGC: Fan climbs down lake wall to rescue Michael Bradley’s driver. If Bradley birdies & makes cut on number, he should slip fan some $

Best title: “Worst Golf Swings: ‘Here Come the Asians’ Edition” (Deadspin)

Tiger wants to “talk” with Bubba! (Wei Under Par)

Adam Scott + Short Game – Gay Putter – Gay Long Hair = Something Good? (Wei Under Par)

Tiger is ready to get back to the course and lose the rush (Wei Under Par)

A new illegal golf ball that does not slice (Devil Ball)

Bubba Watson says TPC is too hard for him (Devil Ball)

Adding a fifth major?!? No (Devil Ball)

Q & A with Adam Schupak Pt. 2 (Geoff Shackelford)

Here’s a digital illustration of #17 at Sawgrass (Golf)

Sean Foley wants to fight Bubba Watson (Waggle Room)

Tomorrow’s tee times at Sawgrass (PGA Tour)

Picks for TPC (PGA Tour)

Sleeper picks for TPC (PGA Tour)

What non-major event would you most like to win? (The Golf Channel)

Thank God it’s Friday. It’s been along week for this guy. Today I’m getting my windshield replaced on my car. It’s only like 6 months over due, but hey better late than never. I’m so sick of this god-damned weather. Everyday the chances of rain changes. Monday 20%, Wednesday 40%, Friday 50%. Am I asking too much? Is some sunshine out of the question? If it rains tomorrow, I’m going to ROAST.

Recap of the first round at Quail Hollow (PGA Tour)

First round highlights from Quail Hollow (PGA Tour)

Shot of the day from DLIII (PGA Tour)

Second round tee times at the Wells Fargo Championship (PGA Tour)

Seve Ballesteros is not doing so well. I’m not the praying type, but you’re in our thoughts Seve (PGA Tour, Wei Under Par, Devil Ball)

Bubba talks abotu Tiger’s swing (Devil Ball)

If you’re picking teams for futbol who do you take, Rory McIlroy or Sergio Garcia? (Devil Ball)

Rory Sabatini is pissing off people not named Sean O’Hair or The Real AC (Devil Ball)

26 groups and 18 holes…. What to do!?! (Geoff Shackelford)

Tom Lehman is in the lead after the first round of the Regions Tradition at Shoal Creek, the Champion’s Tour’s first major (Golf Digest)

America’s top 100 most expensive public golf courses (Golf Digest)

A frame by frame look at Bubba Watson’s swing (Golf Digest)

Imagine that, Phil Mickelson is hitting good recovery shots (Golf)

Bill Haas shot a bogey free 64 to open the Wells Fargo Championship (Golf)

Rory McIlroy is house hunting again, shoots opening round 75 (Golf)

Callaway or Blackstone could be putting in a bid for Fortune Brands Inc’s golf business (Reuters)

Tiger events vs. Non-Tiger events (Golf Channel)

Congressional is going to be looooong this year (Golf Channel)

Jason Sobel is leaving ESPN and joining the Golf Channel (Golf Channel)

A look at Quail Hollow (PGA Tour)

Wells Fargo Championship: Power Rankings (PGA Tour)

A look at the field at Quail Hollow (PGA Tour)

Another look at Congressional for the 2011 US Open (Golf)

Will there be a “Webb Simpson Rule” on Tour? (Golf Digest)

10 Rules from Bubba Watson (Golf Digest)

PGA week in review (Golf Digest)

Someone from Georgia reacts to the Webb Simpson situation (Golf Digest)

Shocker: Webb Simpson is upset with his rules infraction (Devil Ball)

That golf and Bin Laden connection (Devil Ball)

Lexi Thompson had the 54 hole lead, but ended up losing (Wei Under Par)

Speaking of Lexi Thomson… She won’t apply for a LPGA membership (Waggle Room)

Webb Simpson wants the rules changed, won’t change the fact that he lost  (Waggle Room)

Here’s a review of Geoff Shackelford’s site (Stephen Hardy Goodwin)

Osama Bin Laden’s home course (Geoff Shackelford)

Zurich Classic results (PGA Tour)

Zurich Classic wrap-up (PGA Tour)

Zurich Classic video recap (PGA Tour)

Bubba Watson won the 2011 Zurich Classic (Golf)

Photo’s from the Zurich Classic (Golf)

John Smoltz didn’t make the cut in his Nationwide Tour Event (Golf)

Golf WAG’s anyone? (Golf)

Johnny Vegas setup video (Golf Digest)

Rumors of the RBC and the Herritage (Geoff Shackelford)

An explanation of what happened to Webb Simpson in the playoff hole vs Bubba Watson at the Zurich Classic (Golf Week)

Boo Weekley can communicate with alligators (Wei Under Par)

Alex Cejka broke his toe (Wei Under Par)

Jason Day and his hot wife Part III (Wei Under Par)

Is Bubba America’s best golfer? (Devil Ball)

Nationwide: Qualify Monday, win Sunday (Devil Ball)

Tiger wants to play in the US Open (Waggle Room)

Lee Westwood won again in Asia. Who cares? (Devil Ball)

More of Vaughn Taylor’s finance after the jump

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And…

Maybe it’s the long, cold winter that never seems to end, or maybe it’s just fate, but we’re (only me?)  eager to fire things up here again at Tuna Golf. Not that we’ve ever had a real formal, organized site here, but it’s probably going to be even more erratic around here during our comeback attempt. Whatevs… you know how we roll. Leave your complaints in the comment section.

Fortunately for me, I had the day off today. It was much more productive than I expected it to be when I woke up hungover as balls at 8:30 this morning. Not to dwell on my drinking problems, but I advise anyone to stay the fuck away from a drink named the “polar bear fight”. I was conned into taking not one, but two last night and it did not end well. Not like I ever considered an Irish car bomb, followed by a Jager bomb, followed by a tequila shot to ever end well… Call me a pussy, but that shit is harsh.

Anywho, I spent my day off cleaning and watching golf; two things that couldn’t be further away from each other on the list of shit I want to do. Instead of a normal lame Friday round of a random tournament, I was fortunate to catch the third round of the Accenture Match Play Championship. Here’s a few observations from my four-hour viewing session:

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What you missed?  A helluva tournament, that’s what.

Kudos go out to Martin Kaymer and Bubba Watson for a nice showing on Sunday, as well as Dustin Johnson for putting the Pebble-esque choke on hold until the last hole, as well as guys like Zach Johnson, Rory McIlroy and Steve Elkington who provided some nice competition for the leaders.  I don’t want to get into Bunkergate, so we’ll hold off on that for the conceivable time being, and after some reflection, I’m not really bullish on Whistling Straits as I was heading into the championship.

Lets get to the winners and losers.

Winners:

PGA fans – Helluva tournament and a ton of drama and entertainment.  That was a fantastic treat in a year where only the Masters was truly entertaining. (more…)